Parenting is difficult and all parents irrespective of being in India or anywhere in the world know this. So what’s so problematic for Indian parents that others don’t have.
Indian parents face the problems of –
- Unwanted advice from everyone
- Cultural dynamics
- Traditions and customs vs. modernity
- Tips given to be a parent even from non-parental source
“You are too lenient. You need to be strong and strict”
“Why do you beat your child? It will lead them astray!”
“What does giving choices mean? Children never know what is good or bad for them.”
No matter what you do; as a parent you are constantly under the scrutiny of people who keep telling you that you are never perfect, enough or proper. One thing or the other is always scorned. So as parents, it becomes sometimes confusing as to what to do and how to mould the child.
Worry not! We have some support here to understand child psychology and aspects of child rearing by Psychologist Diana Baumrid, a developmental psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley. In the 1960s, three parenting styles were developed by her.
- Authoritative (or Disciplinarian)
This was expanded further in 1983, by Maccoby and Martin as permissive style (also known as indulgent parenting style) and neglectful parenting (also known as uninvolved parenting style).
Having questions in mind about how you fare as a parent? There’s this amazing online test that can help you get a great understanding of who you are as a parent. Not only does this help you relate to how you go about dealing with your child; but it also gives you a chance to add a perspective to how we all can understand each other’s behavior and relationship. It gives us parents a wide perspective about how we influence or impact our children. So want to do a good self test and know yourself better? Try this!
You need to note that no parenting style in itself is absolutely ideal. Depending on your child’s personality or situations around you, there could be a mix of styles prevalent. This parenting style indicates the behaviour you mostly exhibit and does not take into consideration specific situations.
How to combat the problems of everyone’s eagerness to tell you and teach you? Keep your eyes open, ears open but keep your logical intelligence and judgement to yourself. Remember that you know your child the best!