New age kids increasingly are asking to get independence from their parents. Maybe it could be the result of watching American movies and thinking that after 18 years they are big enough or perhaps it is the influx of the internet age that makes them think they are adult enough. Whatever be the trigger points – the question of giving freedom or clipping the wings always arises.
So into this thought process what should the parents ideally do? This all depends on a number of factors to start with –
- Do you have a nuclear or joint family setup?
- Do you have a single child or more kids?
- Do you have certain family traditions that are a bit different from your community?
- Does your finances get supported by jobs held or through business?
These factors are the first things that impact the freedom ratio of the child. It is perceived that in joint families children have more opportunities to mix with other children in the family and hence are freer. If you have a single child, chances are that you will be more lenient to the child. Children coming from business family backgrounds tend to have parents who are busy or don’t have financial worries and hence experience more freedom. However, note that these are generalisations and do not take into account instances of the total opposite situation than this.
Keep all these points in mind to have the maximum joy of parenting and your kids too will respond well to you:
- Think of allowing your kids to grow and not ‘raising them’.
- Instil a sense of responsibility that combines with joy and love
- Focus on the process of nurturing the relationship with the child rather than the goal of raising a child
- Think of raising yourself and then think of raising your child.
- If you think the child is mostly wanting to stay outdoors and not willing to come home, assign tasks to him/her.
- Let children feel accountable for their actions by ensuring that they get freedom after fulfilling their task responsibilities
- Tasks are an ideal way of ensuring that kids learn to value work.
- You can give household work to them, engage them to get simple groceries and when they are older enlist their help in payment of bills.
- Such tasks make them aware about running the home, living alone (when need arises) in another city for studies or work and even gives them a sense of the real world.
“Above all, never let children see resentment, jealousy, frustration, depression, and anger in their parents. Make sure your children never witness these things at home”, says Sadhguru
